{"id":8861,"date":"2019-08-22T21:25:48","date_gmt":"2019-08-22T21:25:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/?page_id=8861"},"modified":"2025-04-06T13:51:36","modified_gmt":"2025-04-06T20:51:36","slug":"no-ka-%ca%bbohana-a-me-na-hoaaloha","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/haw\/for-family-and-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"No ka \u02bbOhana a me n\u0101 Hoaaloha o n\u0101 Mea \u02bbAi \u02bbona"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hau\u02bboli m\u0101kou ua loa\u02bba i\u0101 \u02bboe k\u0101 m\u0101kou p\u016bnaewele a ke lohe nei \u02bboe i ka n\u016bhou e loa\u02bba ana ka mana\u02bbolana no n\u0101 mea ho\u02bbohana p\u016bnaewele a me n\u0101 \u02bbenehana i ho\u02bbopilikia \u02bbia. In\u0101 kokoke \u02bboe i kahi mea ho\u02bbopilikia p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana, ua \u02bbike mua paha \u02bboe i ka pa\u02bbakik\u012b a me ka \u02bbeha e hiki ai i k\u0113ia \u02bbano ke hana, \u02bba\u02bbole wale no ka mea ho\u02bbopilikia i\u0101 l\u0101kou iho, ak\u0101 no ka po\u02bbe a puni l\u0101kou. He pilikia ko\u02bbiko\u02bbi ka ho\u02bbopilikia \u02bbana i n\u0101 mea \u0101pau e ho\u02bbop\u0101 ai. Aia i loko o k\u0113ia \u02bbao\u02bbao ka \u02bbike ko\u02bbiko\u02bbi a me n\u0101 kumuwaiwai in\u0101 kokoke \u02bboe i kahi mea ho\u02bbopilikia.

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u0101 H\u0101l\u0101wai no ka \u02bbOhana a me n\u0101 Hoaaloha<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u02bbIkepili-Anon<\/a> he hui ia o ka po\u02bbe i ho\u02bbopilikia \u02bbia ko l\u0101kou ola e ka ho\u02bbopili \u02bbana o kekahi i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana. K\u0101ko\u02bbo l\u0101kou kekahi i kekahi i ka lawe \u02bbana mai i n\u0101 loli maika\u02bbi i ko l\u0101kou k\u016blana pilikino, in\u0101 paha e \u02bbae ana ka mea ho\u02bbopili i ke ola \u02bbana o kahi pilikia a i \u02bbole e \u02bbimi ana i ke k\u014dkua. In\u0101 \u02bbeha kekahi \u0101u e aloha ai i ka ho\u02bbopili \u02bbana i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana, paipai m\u0101kou i\u0101 \u02bboe e hele i kahi h\u0101l\u0101wai IT-Anon:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
E hui p\u016b me kahi h\u0101l\u0101wai<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

He aha ka\u02bbu e hana ai e pili ana i ka ma\u02bbi \u02bbona o ka\u02bbu mea aloha?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u02bbO ka mea mua, \u02bba\u02bbohe mea n\u0101na ke kuleana no ka ho\u02bbohana \u02bbana o kekahi i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana. E like me ka \u02bb\u014dlelo a Al-Anon, "\u02bbA\u02bbole na\u02bbu i hana, \u02bba\u02bbole hiki ia\u02bbu ke k\u0101ohi, a \u02bba\u02bbole hiki ia\u02bbu ke ho'\u014dla."\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u02bbA\u02bbole na \u02bboe i hana.<\/strong> Ho\u02bbopi\u02bbi kekahi po\u02bbe i\u0101 l\u0101kou iho no ke \u02bbano hana pono \u02bbole o ko l\u0101kou \u02bbohana, \u02bboiai me n\u0101 mea ho\u02bbomake e wikiwiki loa e ho\u02bbone\u02bbe i ke kuleana mai luna iho a ho\u02bbopi\u02bbi i n\u0101 po\u02bbe \u02bb\u0113 a\u02bbe. Malia paha ua ka\u02bbana like \u02bboe i n\u0101 manawa i hala ma ka p\u016bnaewele me k\u0101u mea aloha, k\u016b\u02bbai i\u0101 l\u0101kou i kahi kamepiula a kelepona akamai paha, a paipai paha i k\u0101 l\u0101kou mau hana p\u016bnaewele, me ka mana\u02bbo he hana le\u02bbale\u02bba \u02bbino \u02bbole ia. Malia paha ua komo \u02bboe i kekahi hakak\u0101 a ke no\u02bbono\u02bbo nei in\u0101 ua ho\u02bboikaika k\u0113l\u0101 i\u0101 l\u0101kou e pe\u02bbe ma ka p\u016bnaewele. Ak\u0101, \u02bba\u02bbohe mea n\u0101na ke kuleana no ke \u02bbano a i \u02bbole n\u0101 ma\u02bbi no\u02bbono\u02bbo o kekahi kanaka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u02bbA\u02bbole hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke k\u0101ohi.<\/strong> Ua ho\u02bb\u0101\u02bbo paha \u02bboe e kama\u02bbilio me k\u0101u hoaaloha a \u02bbohana paha. Ua k\u016bk\u0101k\u016bk\u0101 paha \u02bboe me l\u0101kou, a i \u02bbole ua h\u0101\u02bbawi i n\u0101 \u02bb\u014dlelo ho\u02bbopau. Ua ho\u02bb\u0101\u02bbo \u02bboe e k\u014dkua i\u0101 l\u0101kou e \u02bbike i ka p\u014d\u02bbino a l\u0101kou e hana nei i\u0101 l\u0101kou iho a me n\u0101 po\u02bbe \u02bb\u0113 a\u02bbe. \u02bbA\u02bbole i holo pono kekahi o ia mea. He mea ho\u02bbopilikia k\u0113ia i\u0101 \u02bboe. No ke aha l\u0101kou e ho\u02bbomaopopo \u02bbole ai a m\u0101lama paha? No ke aha l\u0101kou e \u02bbike \u02bbole ai i ka mea i maopopo i\u0101 \u02bboe? He h\u014d\u02bbailona maoli k\u0113ia o ka ma\u02bbi o ka ho\u02bbohui \u02bbana, kahi e ho\u02bboholo ai i n\u0101 ho\u02bboikaika no ka kaohi a hiki i ka h\u0101\u02bbule \u02bbana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u02bbA\u02bbole hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke ho'\u014dla.<\/strong> Makemake m\u0101kou a pau e mana\u02bbo\u02bbi\u02bbo he hiki i\u0101 m\u0101kou ke k\u014dkua i ka po\u02bbe a m\u0101kou e aloha ai. Mana\u02bbo pinepine m\u0101kou in\u0101 hiki i\u0101 m\u0101kou ke loa\u02bba ka \u02bbike k\u016bpono, e \u02bbike i ka mea k\u016bpono e \u02bb\u014dlelo ai a hana paha, e ho\u02bbololi paha i kekahi mea e pili ana i\u0101 m\u0101kou iho, hiki i\u0101 m\u0101kou ke ho\u02bboponopono i ka pilikia. Pono n\u0101 k\u0101naka e hiki ke ho\u02bboponopono i ko l\u0101kou mau pilikia. No ke aha e hiki \u02bbole ai i\u0101 m\u0101kou ke hana p\u0113l\u0101 me k\u0113ia? Aia kekahi kumu ma\u02bbalahi. \u02bbA\u02bbohe l\u0101\u02bbau lapa\u02bbau no ka \u02bbona. Pono ia i ka l\u0101\u02bbau lapa\u02bbau. He l\u014d\u02bbihi a pa\u02bbakik\u012b ke ka\u02bbina hana ho\u02bb\u014dla. A ho\u02bbokahi wale n\u014d kanaka e hiki ke ho\u02bbomaka i k\u0113l\u0101 ka\u02bbina hana: \u02bbo ka mea e ho\u02bbohana nei i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana me ka ho\u02bbokaumaha \u02bbia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aia kekahi mau mea hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke hana. Eia kekahi mau mana\u02bbo \u0101u e makemake ai e no\u02bbono\u02bbo, a n\u0101 \u02bbohana \u02bb\u0113 a\u02bbe a me n\u0101 hoaaloha i \u02bbike he k\u014dkua:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. E ki\u02bbi i ka \u02bbike a me ke k\u0101ko\u02bbo.<\/strong> E \u02bbimi i n\u0101 mea hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe e pili ana i ka ma\u02bbi o ka ho\u02bbopili \u02bbana i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana e ho\u02bboma\u02bbama\u02bba i\u0101 \u02bboe iho me ka ma\u02bbi e k\u016b nei i k\u0101u mea aloha. Eia kekahi, loa\u02bba i n\u0101 palapala a me n\u0101 h\u0101l\u0101wai o n\u0101 hui ho\u02bb\u014dla \u02bb\u0113 a\u02bbe no ka \u02bbohana a me n\u0101 hoaaloha o ka po\u02bbe ho\u02bbopili he alaka\u02bbi k\u014dkua, a loa\u02bba kekahi o ia mau mea ma ka p\u016bnaewele. Aia kekahi po\u02bbe i loa\u02bba i n\u0101 k\u016blana like loa me \u02bboe, i a\u02bbo nui mai i\u0101 l\u0101kou, a makemake e ka\u02bbana like i n\u0101 ha\u02bbawina a l\u0101kou i a\u02bbo ai.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. E ka\u02bbana like me k\u0101u mea aloha.<\/strong> Hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke ka\u02bbana like i k\u0101 m\u0101kou p\u016bnaewele me k\u0101u mea aloha a i \u02bbole e kuhikuhi i\u0101 l\u0101kou e n\u0101n\u0101 i k\u0101 m\u0101kou Palapala Ho\u02bbokipa ITAA<\/a> (A4<\/a>) (n\u0101 kuhikuhi pa\u02bbi<\/a>), a i \u02bbole k\u0101 m\u0101kou n\u012bnau n\u012bnau e pili ana i ka ho\u02bbopili p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana<\/a> e \u02bbike in\u0101 \u02bbike l\u0101kou. In\u0101 \u02bbae l\u0101kou he mau \u02bbano maika\u02bbi \u02bbole o k\u0101 l\u0101kou ho\u02bbohana \u02bbenehana, paipai m\u0101kou i\u0101 l\u0101kou e ho\u02bb\u0101\u02bbo e hele i kekahi o k\u0101 m\u0101kou n\u0101 h\u0101l\u0101wai p\u016bnaewele<\/a>. Paipai m\u0101kou i n\u0101 po\u02bbe hou e hele i \u02bbeono mau h\u0101l\u0101wai i loko o kahi manawa p\u014dkole ma mua o ka ho\u02bboholo \u02bbana in\u0101 he k\u014dkua k\u0101 m\u0101kou papahana i\u0101 l\u0101kou. Eia n\u014d na\u02bbe, in\u0101 ma hope o ka ha\u02bbi \u02bbana i k\u0101 m\u0101kou launa p\u016b \u02bbana me k\u0101u mea aloha \u02bba\u02bbole l\u0101kou e mana\u02bbo\u02bbi\u02bbo he pilikia ko l\u0101kou a \u02bba\u02bbole makemake paha e loa\u02bba ke k\u014dkua, a laila hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke \u02bbae i k\u0101 l\u0101kou ho\u02bboholo me ka \u02bbole o ke kaomi \u02bbana, ka ho\u02bbopunipuni \u02bbana, a i \u02bbole ka ho\u02bbohilahila \u02bbana i\u0101 l\u0101kou. Ma ka h\u0101\u02bbawi \u02bbana i k\u0101u mea aloha i kahi palekana no\u02bbono\u02bbo e k\u016bk\u0101k\u016bk\u0101 ai i k\u0101 l\u0101kou mau \u02bbike, \u02bboi aku paha ko l\u0101kou makemake e wehe e pili ana i ia mea i ka w\u0101 e hiki mai ana.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. E ho\u02bboka\u02bbawale me ke aloha.<\/strong> \u02bbO ka ho\u02bboikaika \u02bbana i ka ho\u02bbopa\u02bbapa\u02bba \u02bbana me kahi mea e ho\u02bbohana nui ana i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana, \u02bba\u02bbole ia e k\u014dkua i kekahi o \u02bbolua. He pilikia ko\u02bbiko\u02bbi ko k\u0101u mea aloha a \u02bba\u02bbohe ou mana e k\u0101ohi a ho\u02bb\u014dla paha, a \u02bba\u02bbole l\u0101kou e loa\u02bba ke k\u014dkua a hiki i ko l\u0101kou makemake. \u02bbOiai \u02bboe e aloha i kekahi, \u02bba\u02bbole hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke koi i k\u0113ia ka\u02bbina hana i kekahi kanaka. \u02bbO ke ka\u02bbawale \u02bbana me ke aloha, \u02bbo ia ho\u02bbi ke \u02bbae piha nei m\u0101kou i ko m\u0101kou mana \u02bbole ma luna o ke k\u016blana neurological e ho\u02bbokele ana i ka no\u02bbono\u02bbo a me ka hana ho\u02bbopili o k\u0101 m\u0101kou mea aloha, \u02bboiai i ka manawa like e m\u0101lama ana i ke aloha maoli i\u0101 l\u0101kou a me ke aloha no k\u0101 l\u0101kou mau hakak\u0101.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. E ho'\u014dki i ka ho'\u0101 \u02bbana.<\/strong> \u02bbO ka mea kupanaha, i ka manawa like e paio ana ka po\u02bbe, e k\u016bk\u0101k\u016bk\u0101 ana me ka ho\u02bbohilahila \u02bbana paha i kahi mea ho\u02bbohana p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana, pinepine l\u0101kou (me ka \u02bbike \u02bbole paha) e k\u0101ko\u02bbo ana i ka \u02bbona ma n\u0101 \u02bbano he nui. \u02bbO n\u0101 mea \u0101pau e pale aku ai i kahi mea \u02bbona mai n\u0101 hopena o k\u0101 l\u0101kou \u02bbano he mea hiki ke ho\u02bboikaika, a hiki ke ho\u02bbokomo i n\u0101 mea ma\u02bbamau e like me ka h\u0101\u02bbawi \u02bbana i ka mea\u02bbai, ka hale noho, ke k\u0101l\u0101, ka launa p\u016b \u02bbana, ka m\u0101lama hale, a me ka uhi \u02bbana no ka ho\u02bbona\u02bbauao, ka hana a me n\u0101 pilikia k\u0101n\u0101wai. \u02bbO ke k\u014dkua \u02bbana i kahi mea ho\u02bbohana p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana e m\u0101lama i kahi \u02bbano ma\u02bbamau e k\u014dkua ana i\u0101 l\u0101kou e ho\u02bbomau i ka hana luku. \u02bbOiai \u02bba\u02bbole hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke ho\u02bbololi i\u0101 l\u0101kou, hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke hana i n\u0101 ho\u02bbololi nou iho. Hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke ho\u02bbololi i kou ikehu mai n\u0101 \u02bbano hiki ke ho\u02bboikaika a i ka ho\u02bbok\u014d \u02bbana i k\u0101u mau pono pono\u02bb\u012b.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. M\u0101lama i\u0101 \u02bboe iho.<\/strong> In\u0101 paha e ho'\u014dki ana k\u0101u mea aloha i ka ho\u02bbohana \u02bbana i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana me ka ho\u02bbopili \u02bbana, pono \u02bboe e loa\u02bba i kahi ola olakino a hau\u02bboli. Ua \u02bbike m\u0101kou \u02bba\u02bbohe k\u016blana i mana\u02bbolana \u02bbole \u02bbia a hiki i\u0101 m\u0101kou ke loa\u02bba ka \u02bbolu\u02bbolu, a me ka hau\u02bboli ho\u02bbi, in\u0101 paha e ho\u02bbohana mau ana ka mea ho\u02bbopili a i \u02bbole. Ke \u02bbae \u02bboe \u02bba\u02bbohe ou mana ma luna o k\u0101 l\u0101kou hana p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana, hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke ho\u02bbomaka e n\u0101n\u0101 i ka mea hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke hana e m\u0101lama i\u0101 \u02bboe iho. Me ke k\u014dkua o n\u0101 po\u02bbe \u02bb\u0113 a\u02bbe i noho ma kou wahi, hiki i\u0101 \u02bboe ke a\u02bbo e ho\u02bbonohonoho i n\u0101 palena olakino a pili i\u0101 l\u0101kou.

    <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Mana\u02bbo no ka ma\u02bbi \u02bbohana a me ka hilina\u02bbi like \u02bbana<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Ua wehewehe pinepine \u02bbia ka ma\u02bbi \u02bbona he "ma\u02bbi \u02bbohana," \u02bbo ia ho\u02bbi, \u02bba\u02bbole \u02bbo ka mea ma\u02bbi wale n\u014d ka mea e \u02bbeha nei i n\u0101 pilikia o ka ma\u02bbi \u02bbona a lawe i n\u0101 \u02bbano hana pono \u02bbole. \u02bbO ka po\u02bbe kokoke loa i ka mea ma\u02bbi \u02bbona hana e \u02bbeha nei i ka nui o k\u0113ia mau hopena, \u02bboiai ma n\u0101 \u02bbano like \u02bbole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u02bbO ke \u02bbano hilina\u02bbi like \u02bbole he mea ia e ho\u02bbopilikia nui ai i n\u0101 pono o ha\u02bbi i kahi pae maika\u02bbi \u02bbole, a ulu pinepine ia i loko o kahi pilina me kahi mea i loa\u02bba i kahi ma\u02bbi \u02bbona. Ho\u02bbopili pinepine ka po\u02bbe hilina\u02bbi like \u02bbole i n\u0101 pilikia a pale i k\u0101 l\u0101kou po\u02bbe aloha mai n\u0101 hopena o k\u0101 l\u0101kou \u02bbano, e lilo ana i mea pili loa i ka ho\u02bbomalu \u02bbana a me ka ho\u02bboponopono \u02bbana i ke kanaka a me ka lanakila \u02bbana i ko l\u0101kou aloha a me ka \u02bbae \u02bbia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I mea e ho'\u014dla ai mai n\u0101 hopena luku o ka ho\u02bbopili \u02bbana o ka mea aloha i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana, pono m\u0101kou e kau i ka mea nui ma luna o k\u0101 m\u0101kou mau pono pono\u02bb\u012b. Paipai m\u0101kou i ka ho\u02bbohana \u02bbana i n\u0101 palapala, n\u0101 pilina a me n\u0101 \u02bb\u014dlelo a\u02bboa\u02bbo e alaka\u02bbi ana i ka po\u02bbe i ho\u02bbopilikia \u02bbia ma ke ala o ka ulu \u02bbana a me ka ho'\u014dla \u02bbana.

    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    N\u0101 kumuwaiwai hou a\u02bbe<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Aia n\u0101 hui like \u02bbana e k\u014dkua paha i ka \u02bbohana a me n\u0101 hoaaloha o ka po\u02bbe i ho\u02bbohana i ka p\u016bnaewele a me ka \u02bbenehana. Hiki i\u0101 l\u0101kou ke h\u0101\u02bbawi i n\u0101 alaka\u02bbi maopopo e pili ana i ka hana \u02bbana me ka ho\u02bbohana like \u02bbana, ma ka ho'\u014dla \u02bbana mai kona hopena, a pehea e k\u016bkulu ai i kahi hui ho\u02bb\u014dla. <\/p>\n\n\n\n