{"id":16759,"date":"2023-09-03T14:47:44","date_gmt":"2023-09-03T18:47:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/?page_id=16759"},"modified":"2023-09-03T14:47:56","modified_gmt":"2023-09-03T18:47:56","slug":"becoming-fit-to-dream","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/ja\/recovery-stories\/becoming-fit-to-dream\/","title":{"rendered":"Becoming Fit to Dream"},"content":{"rendered":"

Printable PDF<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I came into ITAA I felt like I had fallen from a cliff, and was lying broken and alone at the bottom. I believed there was no way I would ever pull myself out of the dark hole of brokenness I felt. Something in me knew my survival depended on climbing that cliff and pulling myself out, but by my own willpower I did not believe I could even begin. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overwhelmed and beaten by shame I would hide my eyes, dropping my head to the side. I would lock my gaze on the moving image on the screen, hypnotizing myself, dissociating from my state of fallenness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I came into ITAA the night after a streaming binge that lasted until 4 AM. I woke up feeling that brokenness at the cliff bottom. I was depressed, anxious, frustrated, and desperate for a solution. I could not pull myself from the screen and I could not go on like this. I found the ITAA website, I saw a meeting was happening in 10 minutes, and I got on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That day the faces of those in recovery began to pop out from the precipice of that cliff edge. I listened for the voices that resonated with my experience and I called for help. Ropes began to appear. People who would become familiar climbed down to meet me. One gave me a deep drink of connection, while another helped me check my injuries. Another sat me up, and then one more said, \u201cTry standing.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shaky but on my own two feet I was able to stand. Those in recovery said, \u201cThere\u2019s a way out of this place in 12 steps. You only need to take them one at a time.\u201d They showed me the ropes and pulley systems. They said, \u201cyou aren\u2019t going to have to climb out alone. Clip into this fellow; they\u2019re a good climber. They know how to use the guide book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still felt a weight pulling me down. I craved the dissociative state that technology would blanket me with. I felt pulled by the gravity of the easy out from difficult emotions and an unmanageable life. While I wanted to sink into the hypnotism of the screen, my eyes had their gaze raised to a much more powerful solution. This was key. I took one step. I climbed to one ledge and as I tried to lift myself, something lifted me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Up to this point, I believed that I needed the willpower to pull myself up, but that belief was a fiction. I have Meetings and Fellowship. I have a program of Recovery. I have the Steps. I have a relationship with a Higher Power of my own understanding. I have a Sponsor. I have people all over the world I can call at any time of the day. The full force of these levers and ropes do for me what I could never do by myself alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still have steps ahead, some that look scary and complex. Yet at some point in this journey I\u2019ve started to experience a fitness. A fitness of heart and mind; a spiritual fitness that helps me climb. There are sheer walls, with few hand holds ahead, but I can\u2019t fall far. My rope is securely fastened to the fellowship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not the person who started this journey. My brokenness at the beginning prepared me to ask for help. That help arrived in spades when I entered ITAA and reached out consistently. Cooperating with this support has made me fit. I am now fit to dream.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Printable PDF Before I came into ITAA I felt like I had fallen from a cliff, and was lying broken and alone at the bottom. I believed there was no way I would ever pull myself out of the dark hole of brokenness I felt. Something in me knew my survival depended on climbing that cliff and pulling myself out, but by my own willpower I did not believe I could even begin.  Overwhelmed and beaten by shame I would hide my eyes, dropping my head to the side. I would lock my gaze on the moving image on the screen, hypnotizing myself, dissociating from my state of fallenness. I … Continue reading Becoming Fit to Dream<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":35194237,"featured_media":0,"parent":9835,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"full-width-page.php","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_wpcom_ai_launchpad_about_page":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_gallery_page":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_contact_page":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_events_page":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_video_page":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_portfolio_piece":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16759","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nBecoming Fit to Dream – Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/ja\/\u56de\u5fa9\u4f53\u9a13\u8ac7\/becoming-fit-to-dream\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ja_JP\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Becoming Fit to Dream – Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Printable PDF Before I came into ITAA I felt like I had fallen from a cliff, and was lying broken and alone at the bottom. 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