{"id":16762,"date":"2023-09-03T14:49:47","date_gmt":"2023-09-03T18:49:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/?page_id=16762"},"modified":"2023-09-03T14:49:49","modified_gmt":"2023-09-03T18:49:49","slug":"pietre-de-pas","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/ro\/recovery-stories\/stepping-stones\/","title":{"rendered":"Pietre de p\u0103\u0219ire"},"content":{"rendered":"

PDF printabil<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd \u00eemi imaginez recuperarea, c\u00e2nd \u00eenchid ochii \u0219i \u00eei las evolu\u021bia s\u0103 ias\u0103 la suprafa\u021b\u0103, \u00eemi imaginez un grafic simplu, dezv\u0103luind un unghi u\u0219or de recunoscut. Pornind de la o ax\u0103 central\u0103 \u0219i continu\u00e2nd constant la 45 de grade. Mereu \u00een ascensiune. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Graficul dezv\u0103luie o serie de \u00eencerc\u0103ri de a dep\u0103\u0219i obstacolele. Documenteaz\u0103 o serie de solu\u021bii ob\u021binute cu greu. Unele au func\u021bionat o vreme, apoi au sl\u0103bit. Altele au oferit o perspectiv\u0103 durabil\u0103, o bun\u0103stare care avea s\u0103-mi defineasc\u0103 via\u021ba. Indiferent de categoria \u00een care s-au \u00eencadrat, v\u0103zute ca o secven\u021b\u0103, aceste \u00eencerc\u0103ri m-au ghidat pe o cale cu un scop. O serie de pa\u0219i pe care m\u0103 pot baza.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trauma \u0219i singur\u0103tatea s-au \u00eempletit de-a lungul copil\u0103riei mele, cre\u00e2nd noduri de confuzie \u0219i suferin\u021b\u0103. Eram at\u00e2t de t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103, nu aveam instrumentele necesare pentru a comunica, pentru a confrunta temerile \u0219i stresul care au definit acei ani. Comportamentele compulsive care au urmat au fost, \u00een realitate, o \u00eencercare de a face lucrurile mai u\u0219or de gestionat, de a supravie\u021bui unei situa\u021bii insuportabile. Au \u00eenflorit \u00eentr-o atmosfer\u0103 de izolare, prosper\u00e2nd \u00een locuri obscure ca o surs\u0103 de lumin\u0103 gre\u0219it interpretat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen copil\u0103rie, am dezvoltat o fric\u0103 cople\u0219itoare de \u00eentuneric, petrec\u00e2nd multe nop\u021bi treaz\u0103 al\u0103turi de fratele meu ne\u0219tiutor. M-am \u00eenconjurat cu animale de plu\u0219, cre\u00e2nd o camaraderie care m\u0103 proteja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cemi schimbam tovar\u0103\u0219ii \u00een fiecare sear\u0103, asigur\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 c\u0103 fiecare avea r\u00e2ndul lui al\u0103turi de mine. Nimeni nu a fost l\u0103sat pe dinafar\u0103. Nimeni privilegiat. Nimeni nu a r\u0103mas nea\u0219teptat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cu timpul, m-am sim\u021bit sufocat\u0103 de num\u0103rul lor tot mai mare. Patul meu devenise supraaglomerat. Nu mai era loc pentru mine. Prezen\u021ba lor nu-mi mai oferea alinare, ci sporea disconfortul. Solu\u021bia mea a func\u021bionat p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd nu a mai func\u021bionat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apoi a ap\u0103rut o alt\u0103 solu\u021bie. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 c\u00e2nt la o v\u00e2rst\u0103 foarte fraged\u0103. Am fost recunoscut pentru abilit\u0103\u021bile mele. Muzica a fost \u00eentotdeauna cea mai confortabil\u0103 form\u0103 de auto-exprimare pentru mine. Cu toate acestea, nu a putut \u00eenlocui nevoia mea cople\u0219itoare de a-mi dezvolta o voce articulat\u0103. T\u00e2njeam dup\u0103 cuvinte lipsite de ambiguitate, capabile s\u0103 exprime realitatea mea complex\u0103, \u00eencrengatura g\u00e2ndurilor mele. Cuvinte care s\u0103 poat\u0103 exprima adversitatea \u0219i misiunea mea de a o dep\u0103\u0219i. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce am progresat \u00een studiile mele muzicale, a devenit evident c\u0103 criteriul predominant era perfec\u021biunea, declan\u0219\u00e2nd o abordare compulsiv\u0103 \u00een ceea ce prive\u0219te exersarea mea. Indiferent c\u00e2t de mult repetam, niciodat\u0103 nu p\u0103rea suficient. \u00cenceta s\u0103 func\u021bioneze ca solu\u021bie, nu-mi mai oferea consolare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

La \u00eenceputul adolescen\u021bei, comportamentele mele compulsive au g\u0103sit o alt\u0103 direc\u021bie. Am devenit din ce \u00een ce mai nelini\u0219tit, tem\u0103tor de viitor, de a deveni adult. Sim\u021beam c\u0103 nu am niciun ghid, nicio influen\u021b\u0103 pozitiv\u0103 care s\u0103-mi lumineze calea. Am descoperit c\u0103 prefer lumea a\u0219a cum o \u0219tiam, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 aventurez pe un teritoriu necunoscut f\u0103r\u0103 o hart\u0103. Am dezvoltat o tulburare de alimenta\u021bie \u00een \u00eencercarea de a-mi opri dezvoltarea fizic\u0103, de a sc\u0103pa de ceea ce p\u0103rea inevitabil. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pe vremea aceea, tulburarea mea alimentar\u0103 nu era discutat\u0103 frecvent. Credeam c\u0103 era solu\u021bia mea personal\u0103 la situa\u021bia mea specific\u0103. O modalitate de a tr\u0103i \u00een afara regulilor. Pretinz\u00e2nd c\u0103 am un anumit control, de\u0219i fabricat, asupra a ceea ce continua s\u0103 fie imposibil de gestionat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mi-a luat mai mult de zece ani s\u0103-mi recunosc boala ca pe o problem\u0103. S\u0103-mi dau seama c\u0103 \u0219i al\u021bii g\u0103siser\u0103 aceea\u0219i solu\u021bie distorsionat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Printr-o serie de \u00eent\u00e2lniri \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103toare, am descoperit o asocia\u021bie pentru tulbur\u0103ri de alimenta\u021bie. Am g\u0103sit o comunitate care \u00eemi \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219ea preocup\u0103rile. \u00cen cele mai mici moduri, m-am sim\u021bit transformat\u0103, calea mea luminat\u0103. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 renun\u021b la responsabilitatea de a lua totul \u00een propriile m\u00e2ini, realiz\u00e2nd c\u0103 nu totul era al meu \u0219i trebuia s\u0103-l rezolv. \u00cemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219ind la \u00eent\u00e2lniri, am \u00eenceput c\u0103l\u0103toria mea pentru a-mi recupera vocea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am ajuns s\u0103 recunosc o putere superioar\u0103, prima mea \u00eentr-o evolu\u021bie a puterilor superioare. Recunosc\u00e2nd c\u0103 acceptarea necondi\u021bionat\u0103 din partea puterii mele superioare este un drept din na\u0219tere, nu un privilegiu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mi-am consemnat transformarea, imagin\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 \u00eentr-o c\u0103l\u0103torie eroic\u0103. C\u0103l\u0103torind prin greut\u0103\u021bi \u00een speran\u021ba unui viitor mai luminos. Un protagonist al unei tradi\u021bii epice. Recuperarea mea s-a reflectat \u00een scrierile mele din acea vreme, scrieri care au luat forma unei alegorii. O poveste \u00een special a portretizat c\u0103utarea mea, Omul uituc.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A fost odat\u0103 un b\u0103rbat cu o memorie foarte proast\u0103.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00centr-o zi, s-a dus la doctor \u0219i i-a spus: \u201cDomnule doctor, am tr\u0103it deja mul\u021bi ani, dar parc\u0103 nu \u00eenv\u0103\u021b niciodat\u0103 din gre\u0219elile mele. M\u0103 confrunt cu aceea\u0219i problem\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi amintesc remediile din trecut.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doctorul i-a spus s\u0103 cumpere un caiet simplu \u0219i s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na viitoare.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na urm\u0103toare, omul uituc s-a \u00eentors cu noul s\u0103u caiet. Doctorul i-a sugerat s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i scrie \u00een detaliu experien\u021bele de zi cu zi \u0219i s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na urm\u0103toare. Omul uituc a fost de acord \u0219i \u0219edin\u021ba s-a \u00eencheiat. Ceea ce nu i-a spus doctorului a fost c\u0103 nu \u0219tia s\u0103 scrie sau, ca s\u0103 fiu sincer, uitase. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Totul a \u00eenceput la sf\u00e2r\u0219itul prim\u0103verii, c\u00e2nd omul uituc s-a trezit \u00een mijlocul unui moment straniu de frumos. Florile \u00eenfloreau, iar m\u0103garii p\u0103\u0219teau \u00een iarba \u00eenalt\u0103 \u0219i leg\u0103nat\u0103. Aerul \u00eel umplea din cap p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een picioare. Nu-\u0219i putea da seama unde i se terminau degetele \u0219i unde \u00eencepea dup\u0103-amiaza. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tem\u00e2ndu-se s\u0103 nu-\u0219i piard\u0103 noua lumin\u0103 \u00een favoarea temerilor sale mai \u00eentunecate \u0219i mai profunde, \u0219i-a scos cu disperare caietul. A rupt o pagin\u0103 goal\u0103, a \u021binut-o sus deasupra capului, \u00een cer, cu vedere la vale, apoi a \u00eemp\u0103turit-o repede p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd a devenit suficient de mic\u0103 c\u00e2t s\u0103-i \u00eencap\u0103 \u00een buzunar. C\u00e2nd s-a \u00eentors acas\u0103, a pus cear\u0219aful \u00eemp\u0103turit \u00eentr-o cutie de pantofi sub pat. \u00cen noaptea aceea, s-a sim\u021bit mai \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103 dormind.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2teva zile mai t\u00e2rziu, mama lui l-a sunat. Uitase de ziua de na\u0219tere a bunicii sale \u0219i era singurul care lipsea de la petrecere. B\u0103rbatul uituc i-a trimis imediat bunicii sale optzeci \u0219i cinci de trandafiri galbeni. \u201cDe c\u00e2te ori mi-au fost trimise aceste flori \u0219i eu continui s\u0103 uit!\u201d, a strigat el, acoperindu-\u0219i fa\u021ba cu m\u00e2inile. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 stea pe g\u00e2nduri, a smuls o pagin\u0103 din caiet \u0219i a expus-o cu grij\u0103 aerului \u00eentunecat \u0219i \u00eenchis al camerei sale mici, a \u00eemp\u0103turit-o, mai \u00eent\u00e2i \u00een jum\u0103t\u0103\u021bi, apoi \u00een sferturi, apoi \u00een optimi, a pus-o \u00een cutia de pantofi \u0219i a adormit. Diminea\u021ba, \u00eel durea u\u0219or capul, dar uitase cutia de sub pat.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

B\u0103rbatul uituc a continuat s\u0103 adune at\u00e2t evenimente vesele, c\u00e2t \u0219i descurajatoare din via\u021ba sa, ascunz\u00e2ndu-le pe toate sub pat, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 observe c\u0103 devenise un fel de colec\u021bionar. \u00cen cele din urm\u0103, \u00eentr-o zi, c\u00e2nd avea cea mai mare nevoie, \u0219i-a dat seama. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Era o zi scurt\u0103 de la mijlocul lunii februarie. Soarele \u00eencepuse deja s\u0103 apun\u0103 c\u00e2nd omul uituc se trezi \u00eentr-o parte a ora\u0219ului necunoscut\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 atunci. \u00cencerc\u0103 s\u0103 urmeze indicatoarele stradale, dar acestea p\u0103reau scrise \u00eentr-o limb\u0103 str\u0103in\u0103, cu litere indescifrabile, conduc\u00e2ndu-l \u00een cercuri, din ce \u00een ce mai ad\u00e2nc \u00een confuzie. Str\u0103zile se strecurau ca \u0219erpii sub ploaia u\u0219oar\u0103. Uitase umbrela.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2teva ore mai t\u00e2rziu, dup\u0103 \u00eencerc\u0103ri \u0219i necazuri aparent nesf\u00e2r\u0219ite, a ajuns acas\u0103. C\u00e2nd a deschis u\u0219a apartamentului s\u0103u cu o singur\u0103 camer\u0103, totul s-a \u00eenv\u00e2rtit \u00eentr-o stare de noutate. A v\u0103zut lucrurile ca \u0219i cum nu le-ar fi v\u0103zut niciodat\u0103: imprimeul floral delicat al perdelei decolorate, modelul auriu al ramei tabloului, curbura robinetului care \u021binea ultima pic\u0103tur\u0103 de ap\u0103 \u00een suspensie, f\u0103r\u0103 suflare, \u0219i cutia gri de carton de sub patul s\u0103u mic \u0219i nef\u0103cut. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sco\u021b\u00e2nd cutia pr\u0103fuit\u0103, a g\u0103sit-o plin\u0103 cu foi de h\u00e2rtie \u00eemp\u0103turite. \u0218i apoi, \u0219i-a amintit.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A desf\u0103cut paginile \u00eeng\u0103lbenite \u0219i le-a ag\u0103\u021bat pe fiecare pe sfoara de rufe care traversa camera. \u00cencet, \u00eencet, imaginile au \u00eenceput s\u0103 apar\u0103: un m\u0103gar care r\u0103gea \u00een v\u00e2nt, optzeci \u0219i cinci de trandafiri galbeni, o umbrel\u0103 \u00een carouri, dar la fel de \u00eencet pe c\u00e2t se dezv\u0103luia fiecare amintire, fugea \u00eencet, alunec\u00e2nd pe h\u00e2rtie \u0219i picur\u00e2nd, \u00een culori vii, pe podea. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Din nou, paginile at\u00e2rnau goale, dar un lac sclipitor a r\u0103mas, frumos \u0219i albastru, \u00een mijlocul camerei sale. \u00cen fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103, b\u0103rbatului \u00eei pl\u0103cea s\u0103 se plimbe prin apele lui \u0219i adesea st\u0103tea calm \u00een centrul lui.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen cele din urm\u0103, dup\u0103 multe \u00eent\u00e2lniri \u0219i apeluri de informare, dup\u0103 mult\u0103 medita\u021bie \u0219i reflec\u021bie, am g\u0103sit abstinen\u021ba. Sau ea m-a g\u0103sit pe mine. C\u00e2nd m\u0103 a\u0219teptam mai pu\u021bin, \u00eenc\u0103 ad\u00e2nc \u00een luptele mele, compulsiunea mea a disp\u0103rut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am aflat c\u0103 tulburarea mea alimentar\u0103 nu era o solu\u021bie personal\u0103 la situa\u021bia mea specific\u0103, ci o dependen\u021b\u0103 care \u00eemi punea via\u021ba \u00een pericol. De\u0219i gradul de con\u0219tientizare mi-a crescut, nu am \u00eencercat niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 parcurg metodic pa\u0219ii. Am continuat s\u0103 lucrez \u00een afara tiparelor. Mi-era team\u0103 de regulile sau procedurile stabilite. Drept urmare, anumite elemente cheie care mi-au declan\u0219at dependen\u021ba au r\u0103mas neabordate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

La scurt timp dup\u0103 ce am descoperit abstinen\u021ba, lucruri frumoase au \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi umple via\u021ba. Mi-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit partenerul actual \u0219i am \u00eentemeiat o familie. Ne-am mutat \u00eentr-o alt\u0103 \u021bar\u0103, \u00eentr-un sat \u00eendep\u0103rtat, f\u0103r\u0103 programe de doisprezece pa\u0219i sau cel pu\u021bin f\u0103r\u0103 niciunul. M-am sim\u021bit suficient de anonim\u0103. M-am concentrat pe Qigong \u0219i pe practica medita\u021biei a\u0219ezate, at\u00e2t pe exerci\u021bii nemi\u0219cate, c\u00e2t \u0219i pe cele cu mi\u0219care. Am citit literatur\u0103 despre doisprezece pa\u0219i, dar m-am concentrat \u0219i pe literatura sugerat\u0103 de profesorul meu de medita\u021bie, g\u0103sind multe conexiuni \u00eentre practica mea de medita\u021bie \u0219i recuperarea mea \u00een continu\u0103 evolu\u021bie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Printre exerci\u021biile de Qigong pe care le-am practicat, cele care au ie\u0219it la iveal\u0103 ca fiind nepre\u021buite au fost medita\u021biile din mers \u0219i din stat \u00een picioare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Medita\u021biile de mers includ mersul \u00eenainte \u0219i \u00eenapoi cu mi\u0219c\u0103ri variate ale bra\u021belor \u0219i modele de respira\u021bie con\u0219tiente. Inten\u021bia este de a fi martorul lini\u0219tii \u00een mijlocul mi\u0219c\u0103rii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Medita\u021biile \u00een picioare presupun pozi\u021bii specifice, de asemenea, cu modele de respira\u021bie con\u0219tiente. Inten\u021bia este de a observa mi\u0219carea \u00een lini\u0219te.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen practica mea de medita\u021bie \u00een \u0219ezut, ceea ce a fost cel mai revelator este sentimentul c\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eemprietenesc cu mine \u00eensumi. Observ\u00e2nd mi\u0219carea g\u00e2ndurilor mele, ini\u021biind o con\u0219tientizare familiar\u0103 a nara\u021biunilor mele interioare, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 dezvolt o autoapreciere mai statornic\u0103 \u0219i mai tolerant\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd am experimentat diversele lupte ale vie\u021bii mele, \u00een mijlocul unor experien\u021be imprevizibile \u0219i obi\u0219nuite. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aceast\u0103 con\u0219tientizare mi-a diminuat \u00een cele din urm\u0103 vorb\u0103ria interioar\u0103, mi-a creat mai mult spa\u021biu. Am reu\u0219it s\u0103 \u00eencorporez tehnici de medita\u021bie pe tot parcursul zilei. Trec\u00e2nd prin \u00eent\u00e2lniri \u0219i ne\u00eent\u00e2lniri. G\u0103sind lini\u0219te \u00een activit\u0103\u021bile care mi-au definit via\u021ba. Recunosc\u00e2nd treptat tiparele obi\u0219nuite de reac\u021bie \u0219i ac\u021biune. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Medita\u021bia s-a dovedit a fi un proces transformator, sem\u0103n\u00e2nd semin\u021bele unui profund sentiment de loialitate fa\u021b\u0103 de sine \u0219i \u00eencredere. Am reu\u0219it s\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103-mi deconstruiesc nara\u021biunile distructive \u0219i s\u0103 observ ce m\u0103 orbise mai devreme. S\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 renun\u021b la frica subiacent\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Familia mea, care cre\u0219tea, mi-a dispersat \u0219i mai mult comportamentul compulsiv, \u00eenr\u0103d\u0103cinat-m\u0103 \u00een prezent prin necesit\u0103\u021bile incontestabile ale momentului. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mi-am educat copiii de la \u0219coala primar\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la liceu. A fost un exerci\u021biu de perseveren\u021b\u0103. De r\u0103bdare. Un exerci\u021biu de recunoa\u0219tere a ceea ce func\u021bioneaz\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00eenceteaz\u0103 s\u0103 func\u021bioneze. Nu mai este productiv. C\u00e2nd o solu\u021bie este relevant\u0103 pentru un copil, dar nu reu\u0219e\u0219te s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103 nevoilor altuia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cenc\u0103 o dat\u0103, acest proces a fost ajutat de instrumentele pe care le-am acumulat \u00een timpul recuper\u0103rii. O serie de lec\u021bii. O capacitate de a \u00eencetini ritmul \u0219i de a asculta o voce c\u0103l\u0103uzitoare dincolo de a mea. Un proces facilitat de un profund sentiment de apreciere \u0219i \u00eencredere reciproc\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Internetul a intrat \u00een via\u021ba mea c\u00e2nd aveam aproape patruzeci de ani. A fost o binecuv\u00e2ntare, deoarece m-a eliberat de o \u00eenstr\u0103inare tot mai mare de prieteni \u0219i familie. De ora\u0219ul meu, de \u021bara mea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ini\u021bial, utilizarea mea a fost limitat\u0103 de serviciile slabe \u0219i de planurile orare scumpe. Era definit\u0103 \u00een principal de e-mailurile c\u0103tre p\u0103rin\u021bii mei bolnavi, deoarece mama se \u00eemboln\u0103vise \u0219i prognosticul nu era favorabil. Mi-a permis s\u0103-mi compensez absen\u021ba. F\u0103c\u00e2ndu-mi sim\u021bit\u0103 prezen\u021ba, indiferent de distan\u021ba fizic\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce timpul trecea, utilizarea mea a continuat s\u0103 fie limitat\u0103. Abia dup\u0103 ce cel mare al meu a aplicat pentru facultate am v\u0103zut cum utilizarea tehnologiei a crescut. Formularele de aplicare \u0219i de ajutor financiar erau nenum\u0103rate. Misiunea mea de a g\u0103si \u201cpotrivirea perfect\u0103\u201d mi-a ocupat ziua. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Totu\u0219i, nu a\u0219 considera utilizarea tehnologiei ca fiind compulsiv\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd copiii mei nu ar pleca la \u0219coal\u0103, \u00een alt\u0103 \u021bar\u0103, \u00een circumstan\u021be neprev\u0103zute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi verific mesajele zi \u0219i noapte, \u00een caz c\u0103 aveau nevoie de mine. Ca s\u0103 m\u0103 asigur c\u0103 sunt \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103. \u00cemi petreceam zilele citind \u0219i ascult\u00e2nd \u0219tiri. Asta din dou\u0103 motive principale: s\u0103 m\u0103 conectez la o viziune mai larg\u0103 asupra lumii, o lume \u00een care se stabiliser\u0103 copiii mei, \u0219i s\u0103 umple lini\u0219tea nefamiliar\u0103 a casei mele. S\u0103-mi \u021bin\u0103 companie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dup\u0103 ce am citit \u0219tirile zilnice din diverse surse, am ascultat \u00een timp ce lucram. Am ascultat \u00een timp ce g\u0103team. Am ascultat \u00een timp ce f\u0103ceam cur\u0103\u021benie. Am ascultat \u00een timp ce dormeam. P\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd nu a mai r\u0103mas loc pentru mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen ultimii ani, pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce \u0219tirile au evoluat precar, conflictele au cople\u0219it titlurile, iar principiile fundamentale ale vie\u021bii mele au fost amenin\u021bate, am c\u0103utat adev\u0103rul online ca pe un oracol, ca \u0219i cum mi-ar putea oferi veriga lips\u0103 prin care totul ar fi bine. Descifrez \u0219tirile ca pe un mesaj personal. Ca pe o cale de ie\u0219ire mult a\u0219teptat\u0103. Ca pe o solu\u021bie concret\u0103 pentru un mister existen\u021bial \u0219i nedefinit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pur \u0219i simplu s-a dovedit a fi o distragere a aten\u021biei. Nu exista o rezolvare simpl\u0103 pentru c\u0103utarea mea. Ceea ce c\u0103utam \u00eemi sc\u0103pa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am ajuns la fund c\u00e2nd \u0219tirile au devenit din ce \u00een ce mai intense. Au atins propriul punct culminant incontestabil. M-am sim\u021bit lipit de acele surse \u0219i vocabular, prezentatori de \u0219tiri pe care ajunsesem s\u0103-i cunosc \u0219i pe care mi-i imaginam, pe mine m\u0103 cuno\u0219teau. C\u0103utam constant pe internet un posibil r\u0103spuns, o solu\u021bie la confuzia st\u0103rii lucrurilor, p\u00e2n\u0103 mi-am pierdut vederea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 v\u0103d dublu, pe vertical\u0103. Nu puteam merge. Aveam probleme cu m\u00e2ncatul dec\u00e2t dac\u0103 \u00eenchideam ochii. Am intrat \u00een panic\u0103, crez\u00e2nd c\u0103 am o boal\u0103 genetic\u0103 incurabil\u0103, o afec\u021biune care se reg\u0103se\u0219te \u00een familia mea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen cele din urm\u0103, am primit sfaturi bune de la un vindec\u0103tor tradi\u021bional. Tratamente alternative. Exerci\u021bii pentru ochi. F\u0103c\u00e2nd exerci\u021biile, mi-am dat seama c\u00e2t de limitat\u0103 devenise raza mea de mi\u0219care. Ochii mei erau limita\u021bi la distan\u021be scurte, la vederea frontal\u0103 mai degrab\u0103 dec\u00e2t periferic\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Era incongruent s\u0103 m\u0103 concentrez constant asupra evenimentelor mondiale, excluz\u00e2ndu-i pe cei din jurul meu sau pe realitatea mea prezent\u0103, \u0219i totu\u0219i viziunea mea era limitat\u0103 la cele mai imediate limite, o autoimpunere, o constr\u00e2ngere impus\u0103 de dependen\u021ba mea de tehnologie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

De\u0219i nu sufeream de boala genetic\u0103 de care m\u0103 temeam, aveam totu\u0219i o boal\u0103 care necesita \u00eengrijiri. Mi-am dat seama c\u0103, dup\u0103 o utilizare inutil\u0103 \u0219i compulsiv\u0103 a tehnologiei, experimentam aceea\u0219i u\u0219oar\u0103 grea\u021b\u0103 pe care o resim\u021beam \u0219i \u00een timpul dependen\u021bei mele anterioare. Semnaleaz\u0103 o nevoie. M\u0103 oblig\u0103 s\u0103-mi amintesc. S\u0103 readun instrumente consacrate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218tiam c\u0103 via\u021ba mea era imposibil de gestionat. \u0218tiam ce trebuia s\u0103 fac, dar necesita ni\u0219te cercet\u0103ri. Am dat gre\u0219 ini\u021bial \u00eenainte s\u0103 g\u0103sesc camerele ITAA.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exist\u0103 dou\u0103 diferen\u021be majore \u00een recuperarea mea de data aceasta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. Lucrez pa\u0219ii zilnic.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 m\u0103 rog.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Ini\u021bial, am p\u0103strat lucrurile simple. Am participat la 90 de \u00eent\u00e2lniri \u00een 90 de zile. Am ascultat \u0219i am \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Dup\u0103 primele 90 de zile, am participat la un atelier de stepping \u0219i, la scurt timp dup\u0103 aceea, am participat la altul. A fost extrem de dificil pentru mine s\u0103 lucrez cu step-uri. Mai pu\u021bin despre abstinen\u021b\u0103, mai mult despre recuperare profund\u0103. S\u0103 urm\u0103resc ce m-a condus la dependen\u021bele mele \u0219i s\u0103 v\u0103d repercusiunile acestuia \u00een ac\u021biunile mele de zi cu zi sau \u00een lipsa de ac\u021biune. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Am reluat no\u021biunea de reparare a prejudiciului. Am abordat-o cu creativitate \u0219i compasiune. Am creat spa\u021bii sigure pentru a organiza reuniuni. C\u00e2nd o \u00eent\u00e2lnire nu era posibil\u0103 \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103, mi-am imaginat situa\u021bii similare, situa\u021bii viitoare \u0219i cum a\u0219 putea alege s\u0103 le joc \u00eentr-un mod binevoitor. Am c\u0103utat un teren fertil unde s\u0103 pot \u00eencepe din nou f\u0103r\u0103 a risca s\u0103 fac mai mult r\u0103u altora sau mie \u00eensumi. De asemenea, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 lucrez la modalit\u0103\u021bi de a repara prejudiciul fa\u021b\u0103 de cei care nu mai sunt printre noi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Dup\u0103 o scurt\u0103 perioad\u0103 \u00een cadrul programului, nevoia mea de a-mi folosi esen\u021bialul: ascultarea, citirea sau vizionarea \u0219tirilor a disp\u0103rut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Percep\u021bia mea despre puterea mea superioar\u0103 a evoluat \u0219i ea. Acum \u00eemi imaginez o echip\u0103 de puteri superioare, la fel ca membrii diver\u0219i din s\u0103lile ITAA. Fiecare cu o abilitate remarcabil\u0103, un dar dedicat \u0219i unic. Dac\u0103 mi-a\u0219 aminti m\u0103car. Dac\u0103 a\u0219 g\u0103si umilin\u021ba de a cere ajutor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u00cen timp ce practica mea de medita\u021bie se maturizase, mi-am dat seama c\u0103 nu dob\u00e2ndisem niciodat\u0103 \u00eencredere \u00een rug\u0103ciune. Trebuia s\u0103 m\u0103 concentrez asupra rug\u0103ciunii cu o abordare care s\u0103 reflecte spiritualitatea mea \u00een evolu\u021bie. Adres\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 unei surse de \u00een\u021belepciune mai bl\u00e2nde \u0219i mai empatice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Mi-am scris propriile rug\u0103ciuni simple, pentru acele zile \u00een care cuvintele spontane mi-au sc\u0103pat. Urm\u0103toarea rug\u0103ciune este una la care apelez adesea:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Fie ca eu s\u0103 merg pe o cale pa\u0219nic\u0103.<\/em>
    Fie ca g\u00e2ndurile compulsive s\u0103 se risipeasc\u0103 din mintea mea<\/em>
    Ca cea\u021ba dintr-o ap\u0103 lini\u0219tit\u0103.<\/em>
    Pot s\u0103 m\u0103 conectez cu \u00eemprejurimile mele?<\/em>
    Cu cei din jurul meu.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Fie ca familia noastr\u0103 s\u0103 se bucure de bun\u0103stare<\/em>
    Oricare ar fi alegerea noastr\u0103,<\/em>
    Oriunde alegem s\u0103 fim<\/em>
    Oricine cu care alegem s\u0103 fim.<\/em>
    Fie ca dragostea noastr\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eendure distan\u021ba. Ne\u00een\u021belegerea.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Fie ca gr\u0103dinile noastre s\u0103 prospere \u00een continuare.<\/em>
    Corpurile noastre continu\u0103 s\u0103 prospere.<\/em>
    Fie ca suferin\u021ba noastr\u0103<\/em>
    Fi\u021bi transparen\u021bi \u00een predarea sa<\/em>
    Recunosc\u00e2ndu-\u021bi \u00een\u021belepciunea<\/em>
    Cu curaj \u0219i senin\u0103tate.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    *<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Uneori, \u00eenc\u0103 am nevoie s\u0103 mi se aduc\u0103 aminte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Creez altare \u00een loca\u021bii strategice, altare f\u0103r\u0103 afiliere religioas\u0103. Pur \u0219i simplu obiecte simbolice menite s\u0103 m\u0103 men\u021bin\u0103 prezent. S\u0103 m\u0103 \u021bin\u0103 cu picioarele pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Am un altar unde meditez. Pe biroul meu, al\u0103turi de calculatorul meu, unde scriu. Pe masa din buc\u0103t\u0103rie. \u00cen studioul meu de muzic\u0103. \u00cen gr\u0103dina mea. L\u00e2ng\u0103 patul meu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Sunt aranjate cu amintiri din c\u0103l\u0103toriile copiilor mei. O vaz\u0103. O floare de la partenerul meu. Fotografii selectate. Lum\u00e2n\u0103ri \u0219i t\u0103m\u00e2ie. O cea\u0219c\u0103 fierbinte de ceai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u00cemi amintesc ce este important. Ce nu este.
    \u00cemi amintesc s\u0103 m\u0103 a\u0219ez \u00een \u00een\u021belepciune
    aprofundeaz\u0103 acceptarea
    recunoa\u0219te ce este necesar
    invoc\u0103 umilin\u021ba de a cere ajutor
    de la prieteni, familie, tov\u0103r\u0103\u0219ie
    puterile mele superioare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u00cemi amintesc c\u0103 nu sunt singur
    de\u0219i s-ar putea s\u0103-mi fie \u00eenc\u0103 fric\u0103 de \u00eentuneric.
    Fac parte din ceva incomensurabil
    f\u0103r\u0103 margini
    mult dincolo de 
    ce m\u0103 \u00eempiedic\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Printable PDF When I envision my recovery, when I close my eyes and allow its evolution to surface, I envision a simple graph, disclosing a well recognizable angle. Starting from a central axis and continuing steadily at 45-degrees. Always rising.  The graph reveals a series of attempts to overcome obstacles. Documents a series of hard-won … Continu\u0103 s\u0103 cite\u0219ti Pietre de p\u0103\u0219ire<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":35194237,"featured_media":0,"parent":9835,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"full-width-page.php","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16762","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nStepping Stones – Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/internetaddictsanonymous.org\/ro\/povesti-de-recuperare\/pietre-de-pas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stepping Stones – Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Printable PDF When I envision my recovery, when I close my eyes and allow its evolution to surface, I envision a simple graph, disclosing a well recognizable angle. 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