Recovering from Dating Apps Addiction

Welcome to Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous! We’re glad you’ve found us, and we hope our community can be as helpful to you as it has been for us. ITAA is a Twelve-Step fellowship of individuals who support each other in recovering from internet and technology addiction. This includes social media addiction, phone addiction, video addiction, television addiction, gaming addiction, news addiction, pornography addiction, dating apps, online research, online shopping, or any other digital activity that becomes compulsive and problematic. 

Regardless of how large or small you feel your problem may be, we encourage you to try attending one of our daily meetings to see whether ITAA can be helpful for you. Our meetings are free and open to anyone who struggles with compulsive internet use. Meetings are safe, secure, and anonymous. ITAA is highly diverse, and our meetings include members of all ages, genders, and ethnicities from around the world. In addition, we also have meetings in French, Spanish, Russian, German, Dutch, Hebrew, Arabic, and Polish. You may also find a local, in-person meeting in your city.

What is Dating Apps addiction?

Dating apps addiction is the compulsive and harmful use of apps designed to help us meet romantic partner. It can involve obsessive curation of the perfect dating app profile, endlessly swiping to search on apps like Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid, eharmony, Feeld or other online dating platforms, getting drawn in by the gamification features of these platforms, and compulsive notification checking that interferes with our focus and prioritization. As a subset of internet and technology addiction, dating apps addiction can lead to changes in the brain that over time compromise our ability to focus, prioritize, regulate our mood, and relate to others. 

Those of us who have come to identify as dating apps addicts experienced several common symptoms. We used dating apps for longer than we planned, despite attempts to control our use or detox from the apps. We found ourselves matching with people just for the ego boost whether or not we were interested, pursuing hookups that left us feeling empty, and ghosting people or being ghosted by them ourselves. Even when we wanted to stop using the apps, we were unable to do so on our own. When we weren’t checking our dating apps, we experienced distraction, anxiety, and irritability. We were unable to enjoy and be present with our offline lives. We used dating apps to alter our moods and escape our problems. We felt shame and demoralization about our use of dating apps.  

We might have acknowledged that something wasn’t right, but many of us still questioned whether we really had an addiction. For those of us still wondering, the following questions may help us better identify whether there are signs of dating apps addiction in our lives.

Dating Apps Addiction Questionnaire:

1. Do I check my dating apps quickly and then discover that hours have passed?
2. Do I ever swear off or set limits around dating apps, and then break my commitments?
3. Do I use dating apps all day or late into the night?
4. Do I turn to dating apps whenever I have a free moment?
5. Does my use of dating apps lead me to neglect my personal hygiene, nutritional needs, or physical health?
6. Do I feel isolated, emotionally absent, distracted, or anxious when I’m not using dating apps?
7. Does my use of dating apps contribute to conflict or avoidance in personal relationships?
8. Has my use of dating apps jeopardized my studies, finances, or career?
9. Do I hide or lie about the amount of time I spend on dating apps or the ways in which I use them? 
10. Do I feel guilt or shame around my use of dating apps?

Nobody should have to suffer due to their technology use. If you’ve answered yes to several of the above questions, we encourage you to consider getting support.

What are the Effects of an Addiction to Dating Apps?

Dating apps addiction is a subset of internet addiction disorder (IAD), which was first investigated by the psychologist Dr. Kimberly S. Young, who published the original diagnostic criteria for this mental health disorder in 1998. Today there is still an open discussion in the scientific community regarding how to define, qualify, and study the various forms of internet addiction disorder, with much future research to be done, and the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) has begun to acknowledge the severity of this class of addictions through its inclusion of internet gaming disorder. There is widespread consensus from both researchers and clinicians that the problematic and compulsive overuse of the internet, digital media, and smart devices has been rising over the past two decades, and that the prevalence of this behavioral addiction is associated with a variety of mental, emotional, physical, interpersonal, and professional problems.

Perhaps most significantly, the dopamine releases triggered by internet and technology addiction have been shown to cause structural changes in the brain very similar to the changes experienced in people with alcohol or drug use addictions. These changes lead to impairments in our decision-making, reasoning, reward expectation, executive function, cognitive function, emotional processing, and our working memory. A variety of studies have shown that access to television and VR games decreases the amount of pain medication needed by hospital patients.

Of course, the effects of internet and technology addiction are not only reflected in the structure of our brains, but in our daily lives as well. Internet and technology addiction is strongly associated with impulse control disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), anxiety, increased substance use, and depression. In addition to these co-occurring disorders, it’s associated with a higher risk of cardiometabolic disease, lower sleep quality, increased fatigue, and symptoms of insomnia, all of which are correlated to a higher mortality rate. Perhaps most tragically of all, individuals with internet and technology addiction have much higher rates of suicidal ideation, planning, and attempts—roughly three times the average.

These findings are cause for serious concern. While some might minimize the impact of internet and technology addiction in comparison to chemical substance abuse, the truth is that internet and technology addiction changes our brains in a manner similar to the effects produced by an addiction to alcohol, heroin, or other drugs.

Who is at risk for Dating Apps Addiction?

Dating apps addiction is a condition that can affect people of all ages who are looking for romantic partnership or friendship. Our meetings include people of all ages, genders, and ethnicities from around the world. While the risk factors are varied, internet addiction does not discriminate based on age, educational level, socio-economic status, geography, race, or ethnicity. Its negative effects impact not only the dating app user themselves, but also their family members and friends. By damaging our potential, self-esteem, and quality of life, excessive use of dating apps can impair our lives. Additionally, by contributing to depression and suicidal tendencies, our addiction can be life-threatening. If our use of dating apps is causing us to experience distress or difficulties, there are actions we can take to improve our situation and find relief.

A Solution for Dating Apps Addiction

While internet and technology addiction has only begun to receive attention in recent years, the disease of addiction is not new. Millions of people have found sustainable, long-term freedom through mutual aid support groups modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous. The AA model has been successfully adapted to help people suffering from a variety of addictions, including narcotics, marijuana, nicotine, sex, pornography, and food, among others.

In continuation of this tradition, Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous applies the proven model of AA to help those who are suffering from an addiction to dating apps find long-term freedom from their self-destructive behaviors. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other through group meetings and one-on-one relationships, and we work a recovery program based on the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Our meetings are free and anonymous, and we welcome anyone who thinks they may benefit from support to visit one of our meetings.s.

Members Share Their Experiences Finding Recovery in ITAA

I turned to dating apps whenever I felt lonely or sad. I felt so much shame that I had wasted hundreds of hours of my life curating the perfect dating profile and swiping through thousands of people. I kept thinking when I picked up the app that this time I will find “the one”, my one perfect person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. But I never found them. Only once I came to ITAA did I understand that using dating apps just makes me feel lonelier. 

***

I realized I had a problem with dating apps when I would spend all evening in my house swiping through people on a Friday or Saturday night, without ever going on a first date. I could have spent all that time actually going out and meeting a romantic partner, but instead I was stuck at home and had never felt more isolated. Joining ITAA, I stopped using dating apps completely, and after going through withdrawals, I have finally combatted my depression and loneliness and I’m going outside and meeting people for the first time in years. 

Our program has helped countless people find long-term freedom from internet and technology addiction. For more personal stories, we encourage you to read and listen to the recovery stories on our website.

How to Recover From Dating Apps Addiction

While there is no permanent or quick cure for dating apps addiction, there are concrete actions we can take to recover from our compulsive behaviors and restore our emotional and mental wellbeing. We have found the following actions to be of significant help in finding long-term, sustainable freedom from our compulsive and problematic use of dating apps.

1. Attend daily meetings. In addition to a growing number of face-to-face meetings around the world, ITAA has daily online meetings where our global fellowship meets to share experience, strength and hope with each other. We are encouraged to try attending six meetings in a short time frame to help decide whether ITAA may be helpful to us.
2. Make daily outreach calls. Our dating apps dependence drew us into isolation and self-reliance. As we begin to recover, we learn that we can trust others and be vulnerable. Calling other members outside of meetings helps us stay connected, supported, and sober, and it gives us an opportunity to share in greater detail than we might during a meeting.
3. Abstain. With the help of other members in recovery, we identify and abstain from the specific addictive behaviors which are causing the greatest difficulties in our lives. We recognize that this is a process that unfolds over time, and we make use of the support available to us in ITAA to remain sober one day at a time.
4. Learn more about the recovery process. Our website has many resources about the nature of our addiction and how we might best chart our recovery journey, navigate withdrawal symptoms, and respond to cravings. In addition, there’s a rich body of literature from other 12 Step programs that we can lean on to better inform our healing process and to learn more about the time-tested methods which have helped millions of other addicts recover.
5. Find a sponsor and work the steps. We have benefitted from asking somebody we resonate with to sponsor us and working the Twelve Steps together with them, which is the vital and transformative basis of our long-term recovery from our addiction. A great way to connect with potential sponsors is to make outreach calls with other members who are sober and working the Steps.
6. Make use of outside help. Many members supplement their recovery with a variety of resources beyond ITAA, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychotherapy, group therapy, psychiatry, inpatient or outpatient addiction treatment centers, other 12 Step fellowships, spiritual counsel, or other mental health wellness resources. As a disclaimer, while we do not endorse any one treatment option or intervention in particular, we encourage all members to avail themselves of any outside help that can support them in their recovery journey. A healthcare provider or mental health professional may be able to give advice tailored to your situation.
   
   

What Does Sobriety From Dating Apps Addiction Look Like?

Sobriety in ITAA is a process of discovery that looks different for each of us. As part of this process, we identify and abstain from the specific behaviors which trigger our addiction. We developed positive, health visions for our technology usage, such as using technology purposefully, minimally, or only as necessary. We may stop pursuing online dating for a period of time, so that we can find our validation within ourselves and not with our potential romantic partners. Rather than using dating sites for distraction or to numb our emotions, we invested in our relationships in real life, and improved our self-worth over time.

Types of Internet Addiction

While we all suffer from a common disease, it expresses itself in different ways for each of us. The following are some common compulsive internet and technology behaviors. It’s important to keep in mind that this list is neither comprehensive nor prescriptive—it is essential to identify our own personal compulsive or unnecessary internet and technology behaviors with the help of other members.

• Social media addiction is the addictive use of social media platforms, messaging apps, newsfeeds, discussion forums, chat rooms, and online communities. Addictive social media use can include Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Snapchat, Discord, Reddit, Pinterest, and others.
• Streaming addiction is the compulsive and addictive use of any streaming platforms or content. This includes online videos, movies, television, podcasts, and platforms such as YouTube, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Twitch, or TikTok.
• Phone addiction is the compulsive and self-destructive use of smartphone devices and apps. This may involve excessive phone use or compulsive notification checking, especially at inappropriate times such as late at night or while studying, working, or driving.
• Video game addiction refers to obsessive, unhealthy, or excessive use of video games, as well as any other digital or online games. This includes computer games, console games, VR games, phone games, and social media games. 
• Porn addiction is the addictive consumption of digital erotic content and can also entail other unhealthy digital sexual behaviors. This can include pornographic videos, images, or writing, sexually arousing imagery, AI-generated pornography, anonymous chat rooms, and dating apps.
• Information Addiction is an addictive and unhealthy relationship to researching and consuming information. This can include an addiction to the news, scrolling social media feeds, online shopping, online encyclopedias, AI chatbots, and compulsive online research such as product or health research.
  
  

About ITAA

Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve-Step fellowship based on the principles pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. Our organization is entirely volunteer-based and self-supporting. The only requirement to participate in ITAA is a desire to stop using internet and technology compulsively.

We have no opinions on outside issues, and we neither condemn nor condone any particular technology. We are not affiliated with any political agenda, religious movement, or outside interests. Our single purpose is to abstain from compulsive internet and technology use and to help others find freedom from this addiction. We are a US 501(c)(3) federal tax-exempt nonprofit incorporated in the state of Colorado. 

Page last updated on April 19, 2025